fbpx
When Your Partner Is Part of the Problem 45

When Your Partner Is Part of the Problem

Just because you’re in recovery doesn’t mean that your partner has to cut off their substance use for your relationship to succeed. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of communication, trust, and respect; if you can achieve these things together, you can make any set of circumstances work. However, some people in recovery find themselves at a crossroads when it comes to their romantic relationships. Unless you’re actively seeking out sober dating–which is an entirely worthwhile endeavor–chances are that you’ll find yourself spending your time with someone who hasn’t gone through the same experiences with substance use as you have and whose attitude towards drinking, smoking, or using drugs might not be tempered by destructive experiences or going through recovery.

Whether your partner drinks socially or consistently uses harder drugs, their actions can have an impact on your recovery and constitute a negative effect on your progress. You must be honest and direct with them. Consult the people you trust most on how to proceed, consider your options, and determine whether they’re able to make it through these vital life changes alongside you. If they’re not, you might need to consider making a change in your relationship. 

How Can I Tell if My Partner’s Substance Use is Affecting Me?  

As a person in recovery, the most obvious sign that your partner’s substance use is having an unwanted effect on you is if you begin to notice changes in your attitude regarding substance use because of them. Even an intense period of addiction and treatment can fade in one’s mind when faced with steady exposure to casual substance use. If your partner drinks or uses illicit substances around you regularly, you may find yourself feeling less concerned about how these behaviors affect a person and may even begin to consider loosening your commitment to sobriety and self-improvement.

Another way your relationship may be affected by differing views and habits towards substance use is if you find yourself experiencing feelings of anger, resentment, disappointment, frustration, or isolation due to your partner’s behavior. Your time in treatment and your history may cause you to react negatively when someone close to you engages in potentially destructive behavior. You may even feel disregarded or disrespected if you don’t think your partner is acting around you in a way that befits your history. It should go without saying that each person is free to do as they please, so it’s never your right to demand that someone else modify their behavior for you. If you find yourself experiencing some of these feelings, the best thing you can do is be open and honest with them, begin a constructive dialogue, and see if you can get to a point that works for both of you.

Put Substance Use Out in the Open

While it may seem obvious to you that your history of addiction and recovery should play a role in how your partner acts around you, they can’t read your mind and they only know what you’ve told them. Remember that your experiences in treatment and therapy are confidential and few people will fully grasp the extent of your struggles with substance abuse. The onus is on you to start the conversation, explain your values and commitments, and express any discomfort with your partner’s actions or perspectives towards substances. Most people in relationships want to help one another; if you give them a chance to understand, you may be surprised by how willing they are to work with you.

The last thing you should do is ignore your feelings towards your partner’s behavior because they may not realize how they’re affecting you. By putting it out in the open, you give the both of you a chance to come to an understanding. Alternatively, you can save yourself a lot of hassle and frustration if you explain your needs to your partner and they aren’t willing to respect them. While your sobriety doesn’t have to mean that your partner has to be sober, if their behavior is negatively affecting your progress, they should express a desire to try to find a compromise. If they don’t, they might not be someone you want to be with much longer.

Ask for Honest Input

As with any other major life decision, you don’t have to go through this process alone. Your close friends and trusted family members may have known your partner and your relationship for some time and they may be able to offer helpful insight into your circumstances. Just keep in mind that your friends and family may have opinions you might not always agree with, so approach people who you know want the best for you at all times.

The way relationships are affected by addiction and recovery are familiar subjects to many professionals at treatment centers and in recovery programs, ranging from 12-Step groups to medical facilities. You can bring an unbiased, honest account of your situation to someone who’s in a position to advise you with no agenda other than keeping your best interests at heart.

Coming back to your life after going through addiction and detox can require some adjustments. Even if your partner wants to help you, they won’t know how to until you let them into your inner progress. At Cornerstone Healing Center, we know that recovery is a highly personal process that can cause you to reexamine every other aspect of your life. We offer one-on-one treatment designed to fit your unique needs and circumstances, with special paths for family and couples therapy. The most helpful decision you can make for yourself in the long term is to protect and invest in your sobriety by making it a priority as you establish the rest of your life. Though both parties don’t necessarily need to be sober for a relationship to work, your recovery should be a major factor in how you work together to build a foundation of mutual benefit and trust. You shouldn’t have to compromise when it comes to your wellbeing. Call (800) 643-2108 to learn more.

man-listening-airpods

How to Tell the

How to Tell the Difference Between Cravings and Reasonable Risks By Cornerstone Healing Center We should be careful to get

going cold turkey

Do I Have to

Do I Have to Go Completely Cold Turkey? By Cornerstone Healing Center It’s a common question among people seeking addiction

owning your past

Shame: The Enemy of

Shame: The Enemy of Progress By Cornerstone Healing Center Recovery can be a deeply private experience and it’s not uncommon

coping without substances

Ten Ways to Cope

Ten Ways to Cope That Don’t Involve Substances By Cornerstone Healing Center Negative emotions and substance use are often tightly

when your friends aren't sober

What If All My

What If All My Friends Party? By Cornerstone Healing Center A common crossroads for people returning to regular life after

alcohol and anger

Alcohol and Anger

Alcohol and Anger By Cornerstone Healing Center It’s no secret that society tends to portray desirable, admirable men as tough,

I want to be done already

“I Just Want to

“I Just Want to Be Done Already” By Cornerstone Healing Center Recovery is a lifelong effort and accepting that fact

Marcus Clark Escaping Rock Bottom 5

Marcus Clark Escaping Rock

Marcus Clark, Escaping Rock Bottom Podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8fuKZ98shM From Homeless Drug User to Saving Lives As COO Of A Valley Recovery

Addiction and Suicide

Addiction and Suicide

Addiction and Suicide By Cornerstone Healing Center The statistics can paint a grim picture of heavy overlap between substance abuse

To Hell & Back 6

To Hell & Back

To Hell & Back https://youtu.be/CJCqphEYqec Marcus Clark:Yeah, hello.Speaker 2:Hi.Estil Wallace:Good evening, hello. So, my name is Estil, I'm CEO and

you are not alone

You Are Not a

You Are Not a Lost Cause By Cornerstone Healing Center As you move through the process of recovery, you may

ego

The Role of Ego

The Role of Ego in Addiction By Cornerstone Healing Center You’ve probably heard it said before: addiction is a disease

From Teen Addict To Founder Of Treatment Center 7

From Teen Addict To

From Teen Addict To Founder Of Treatment Center https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyUo-oCyuPs&t=1s Speaker 1:This podcast is sponsored by Cornerstone Healing Center, where they

struggling after a run

Will This Ever Get

Will This Ever Get Easier? By Cornerstone Healing Center Like everything in life, your sobriety will change as time goes

man running

Life After Rehab

Life After Rehab By Cornerstone Healing Center Once you’ve taken the first steps on your path towards recovery from addiction,

budgeting for treatment

I Don’t Think I

I Don’t Think I Can Afford Treatment By Cornerstone Healing Center Even if you’ve acknowledged that you’re struggling with addiction,

going to treatment

Should I Stay Or

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? By Cornerstone Healing Center There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to recovery. For some, moving

supporting someone through cocaine psychosis

Cocaine Psychosis

Cocaine Psychosis By Cornerstone Healing Center While America's ongoing opiate crisis may be a hot topic in today's news, cocaine

Battling Addiction During a Pandemic 9

Battling Addiction During a

Battling Addiction During a Pandemic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07lsXkWmpz8 Elwood Porter II:There's a couple different industries that's pandemic proof and drugs is one

son

I Think My Son

I Think My Son Is Using Heroin By Cornerstone Healing Center If you're worried that your son may be using

You Can Come Back From Relapse 12

You Can Come Back

You Can Come Back From Relapse By Cornerstone Healing Center You’ve completed rehab and worked hard to regain sobriety. Everything

drug abuse and addiction statistics

Drug Abuse and Addiction

Drug Abuse and Addiction Statistics By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental Editor, Editor, Writer, Managing Editor January 17th 2020 The

highly effective approach to long-term addiction recovery

Walking through fire. A

Walking through fire. A scary yet highly effective approach to long-term addiction recovery By Estil Wallace Founder of cornerstone Healing

Getting a DUI in Arizona

7 Things You Need

Getting a DUI in Arizona Sucks: 7 Crucial Things You Need to Do Now By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental

What Is Detox, and Who Needs to Go?

What Is Detox, and

What Is Detox, and Who Needs to Go? By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental Editor, Editor, Writer, Managing Editor September

5 things to help keep you sober

5 Things To Keep

5 Things To Keep in Your Sobriety Toolbox By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental Editor, Editor, Writer, Managing Editor July

Estil Wallace | Phoenix Arizona 17

Estil Wallace | Phoenix

Estil Wallace, CEO/FOUNDER | Cornerstone Healing Center By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/1EkM0Q5fCpg Share on facebook Share

What Is an AA Sponsor, and Why Do I Need One? 18

What Is an AA

What is an AA Sponsor, and Why do I need one? By Megan Krause Writer, Editor and Director of Content

What Alcohol Recovery Has Done For Me? 19

What Alcohol Recovery Has

What Alcohol Recovery has done for me By Karen Kritzstein Clinical Lead at Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/PImWczf-izU Share on facebook

What Do They Do For Alcoholics In Rehab? 20

What Do They Do

What do they do for Alcoholics in Rehab? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/caNrhaqj5lI Share on facebook

The Impact of Addiction Treatment 21

The Impact of Addiction

The Impact of Addiction Treatment By Sharmyn Townsend Yoga Instructor at Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/4VwJB_xopnA Share on facebook Share on

What Are the Signs of Addiction? 22

What Are the Signs

What Are the Signs of Addiction? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center Drug addiction is the inability to

How Can You Help Someone With an Addiction? 23

How Can You Help

How can you help someone with an Addiction? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center Watching your loved struggle

What Are the First Steps in Addiction Treatment? 25

What Are the First

What Are the First Steps in Addiction Treatment? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center At first, drinking or

How to Help an Alcoholic 26

How to Help an

How to Help an Alcoholic? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center Do you have a family member or

How Long Is Addiction Treatment? 30

How Long Is Addiction

How Long Is Addiction Treatment? By Sead Hasic Admission Coordinator at Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/9NJWJJ_zeek Share on facebook Share on

How to Overcome Addiction 31

How to Overcome Addiction

How to Overcome Addiction? By Anna Luna Community Liason at Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/GELEuKatah8 Share on facebook Share on google

What Is a Rehab Center? 32

What Is a Rehab

What is a Rehab Center? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center What crosses your mind when you hear

What makes a good drug rehab? 33

What makes a good

What makes a good drug rehab? By Marcus Clark Executive Director at Cornerstone Healing Center https://youtu.be/qA9lwEnEK8U Share on facebook Share

6 Ways to Treat Addiction 34

6 Ways to Treat

6 Ways to Treat Addiction By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center Addiction is a chronic disease that robs

'Don't Give Up': Chronic Relapsers Who (Finally) Achieved Long-Term Sobriety Give Words of Encouragement 36

'Don't Give Up': Chronic

Words of Wisdom From Chronic Relapsers Who Achieved Long-Term Sobriety By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental Editor, Editor, Writer, Managing

The 5 Stages of Addiction: A Guide For Parents 37

The 5 Stages of

The 5 Stages of Addiction: A Guide For Parents By Megan Krause Content Strategist, Developmental Editor, Editor, Writer, Managing Editor

Why Should I Go To Sober Living After Treatment? 39

Why Should I Go

Why Should I Go To Sober Living After Treatment? By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center When making the

Yoga & Recovery 40

Yoga & Recovery

Yoga & Addiction Recovery By Estil Wallace CEO/Founder of Cornerstone Healing Center YogaThis quite literally saving my life. In addition